A lot of people ask why I always have a lot of text messages. I’m a professional rapper for a living, named Mac Lethal. I run my own independent record label. I get A LOT of texts for business. I wish I was popular, but it’s all biz stuff. Haha.
Check this song out. It’s a fan favorite. It’s a beautiful love song, and the video makes people cry.
How I feel picking my younger brother up from school
(via vandynamite)
My buddy “Axe” works at a convenience store, here are rules on convenience store use based on his stories:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you go to a gas station to buy something, please follow these courtesy/common sense tips:
1. Even if they wanted to, Circle K employees are NOT allowed to have sex with you in the bathroom while on duty. Please don’t ask. And if you DO ask, and they say no, the proper response is NOT to lock yourself in the bathroom and refuse to leave until they comply with your request. Other people need to use that.
2. If I ask for your ID on a restricted sales purchase, that indicates that I don’t think you look like a crotchety old hag. If you yell at me for asking you to expend the enormous amount of energy to take your wallet out of your purse and open it, that proves that you ARE a crotchety old hag.
3. If you’re so drunk that you’re staggering into other customers in the store, please think VERY carefully before trying to buy gas from a gas station clerk who is, most likely, on a first name basis with half the cops in the city. If you get into the drivers seat after that, I WILL make the call.
4. That being said, if you’re walking or have a driver, I don’t give two licks what drug you’re on, or how much you’ve had to drink, and I DON’T remember asking
5. When throwing away 40 pounds of clothes, please use the outside trash cans. If (when) the bag breaks, outside is better for everyone.
6. If you use my phone to order pizza (a cab, hookers, drugs, insert noun here) to my store, you’d sure as hell better be here until they arrive. I don’t have the time or motivation to explain to them where I think you went.
6 (b). You order _______ to my store, YOU give them directions. I WILL NOT spend 15 minutes on the phone with a barely intelligible cab driver trying to explain that west is towards the mountains EVER again.
7. Don’t yell at me. It’s not my fault cigarettes are so expensive, or that it’s illegal to sell beer after midnight, or that you can’t speak english, or that you didn’t bring your ID in from the car, or that you don’t have enough money, or that I can’t take your $100 bill at 2 in the morning, or that the bathroom is locked (see #1).
8. Your loud argument with your significant other about (insert anything here) ENDS when you walk in. Glower all you want, but if I hear it inside my store, it becomes my business. So zip it.
9. Most gas stations don’t sell drugs. In general, you can get away with asking for drugs once per gas station per employee without getting the cops called, because it’s funny. Please note, however, that I can photographically remember the faces of every person who has ever asked me for drugs. Don’t be retarded. Ask for bath salts once, it’s hilarious. Four times, and I begin to realize how much I DON’T want my face eaten off.
10. If the store is empty, you can start checking out, then continue to shop, then finish checking out. But as soon as another car pulls into the lot, your shopping ENDS when you start checking out. (Note: You can leave stuff at the counter to continue to shop if you have a large order, but I have to be able to help other people while you’re gone).
11. Yes, I am judging you. Get over it. I’m a gas station clerk. When I get a job where my opinion matters, you can be offended. And quite frankly, if you’re too fat to pronounce words correctly (not even joking), or you’re buying $80 in candy with your food stamps, I couldn’t care less if you’re offended.
12. If it’s after 9 PM but before 9 AM, and you’re buying something less than $10, DO NOT hand me a $20 when I can clearly see that fat stack of fives and tens in your wallet. You DO NOT know how completely useless a $20 bill is. The same applies to hundreds (at any time of day). Circle K is not a bank. Regardless of legal requirements or company policies, don’t try to pay for a pack of gum with a hundred, ever, even if it’s all you’ve got. You WILL get turned down.
13. If you come up to the counter talking on the phone, I won’t speak to you. I will ring you up, and you get to figure it out from there. If you can do this (it’s not that hard for the 10% of the population who are functionally literate), no problem. If not, get off the damn phone.
14. If you scream at a woman inside my store, I’ll call the cops on you. If you hit a woman inside my store, I’ll call the ambulance for what’s left of you.
15. I don’t care how attractive you are, or how much you’re flirting with me. I won’t hold up the 30-person line behind you to give you my phone number. Come back later when I’m dying of boredom.
16. As far as restricted sales are concerned, I am god. If you whine and complain and bitch and moan and piss me off, it’s not hard to find “something fishy” about your ID. And legally, I don’t need any reason beyond “it doesn’t look right” to deny a sale.
17. I don’t care who you voted for. I don’t care what your religious views are. I don’t care to tell you mine, either. I’ll talk to you about t-shirts or tattoos for 20 minutes, but don’t push it.
18. There is a law of physics that states that wherever trash is thrown on a gas station counter, a trash can WILL be within 6 inches of that spot. Seriously, use your eyes.
19. What’s on the counter is what you walk out the door with. If you got the wrong size soda, turn your butt around and go get the right one. I’m not smart enough to memorize the 16-digit UPC for all 2000 items we carry, and I don’t get paid enough to get it for you.
20. Yes, your Guy Fawks mask is funny, and made me laugh. Yes, you’re allowed to wear it in the store. Yes, you will be removing it completely before you try to pay with a credit card.
21. If you want to “surprise” the guy who has to clean the bathrooms, taking a dump on the floor then smearing it all over the walls and ceiling is not “doing it right”. At least put forth some effort. While still disgusting in the most visceral way, at least I can respect the effort of the guy who spent 30 minutes in the bathroom “producing” 1/2 liter of semen in a bottle to leave as a gift in the sink.
And no, none of this was hypothetical.
SHE’S ENJOYING THE CYCLONE DANK 7 TIP; IT WAS CURED FOR 7 DAYS HOW CAN SHE NOT
![expose-the-light:
Top Ten Mysteries of the Universe
What are those burning questions about the cosmos that still baffle astronomers today?
1. What Are Fermi Bubbles?
No, this is not a rare digestive disorder. The bubbles are massive, mysterious structures that emanate from the Milky Ways center and extend roughly 20,000 light-years above and below the galactic plane. The strange phenomenon, first discovered in 2010, is made up of super-high-energy gamma-ray and X-ray emissions, invisible to the naked eye. Scientists have hypothesized that the gamma rays might be shock waves from stars being consumed by the massive black hole at the center of the galaxy.
2. Rectangular Galaxy
“Look, up in the sky! It’s a…rectangle?” Earlier this year, astronomers spotted a celestial body, roughly 70 million light-years away, with an appearance that is unique in the visible universe: The galaxy LEDA 074886 is shaped more or less like a rectangle. While most galaxies are shaped like discs, three-dimensional ellipses or irregular blobs, this one seems to have a regular rectangle or diamond-shaped appearance. Some have speculated that the shape results from the collision of two spiral-shaped galaxies, but no one knows for now.
3. The Moon’s Magnetic Field
One of the moon’s greatest mysteries—why only some parts of the crust seem to have a magnetic field—has intrigued astronomers for decades, even inspiring the buried mythical “monolith” in the novel and film 2001: A Space Odyssey. But some scientists finally think they may have an explanation. After using a computer model to analyze the moon’s crust, researchers believe the magnetism may be a relic of a 120-mile-wide asteroid that collided with the moon’s southern pole about 4.5 billion years ago, scattering magnetic material. Others, though, believe the magnetic field may be related to other smaller, more recent impacts.
4. Why Do Pulsars Pulse?
Pulsars are distant, rapidly spinning neutron stars that emit a beam of electromagnetic radiation at regular intervals, like a rotating lighthouse beam sweeping over a shoreline. Although the first one was discovered in 1967, scientists have for decades struggled to understand what causes these stars to pulse—and, for that matter, what causes pulsars to occasionally stop pulsing. In 2008, though, when one pulsar suddenly shut off for 580 days, scientists’ observations allowed them to determine that the “on” and “off” periods are somehow related to magnetic currents slowing down the stars’ spin. Astronomers are still at work trying to understand why these magnetic currents fluctuate in the first place.
5. What Is Dark Matter?
Astrophysicists are currently trying to observe the effects of dark energy [link to Fast Forward], which accounts for some 70 percent of the universe. But it’s not the only dark stuff in the cosmos: roughly 25 percent of it is made up of an entirely separate material called dark matter. Completely invisible to telescopes and the human eye, it neither emits nor absorbs visible light (or any form of electromagnetic radiation), but its gravitational effect is evident in the motions of galaxy clusters and individual stars. Although dark matter has proven extremely difficult to study, many scientists speculate that it might be composed of subatomic particles that are fundamentally different from those that create the matter we see around us.
6. Galactic Recycling
In recent years, astronomers have noticed that galaxies form new stars at a rate that would seem to consume more matter than they actually have inside them. The Milky Way, for example, appears to turn about one sun’s worth of dust and gas into new stars every year, but it doesn’t have enough spare matter to keep this up long-term. A new study of distant galaxies might provide the answer: Astronomers noticed gas that had been expelled by the galaxies flowing back in to the center. If the galaxies recycle this gas to produce new stars, it might be a piece of the puzzle in solving the question of the missing raw matter.
7. Where Is All the Lithium?
Models of the Big Bang indicate that the element lithium should be abundant throughout the universe. The mystery, in this case, is pretty straightforward: it doesn’t. Observations of ancient stars, formed from material most similar to that produced by the Big Bang, reveal amounts of lithium two to three times lower than predicted by the theoretical models. New research indicates that some of this lithium may be mixed into the center of stars, out of view of our telescopes, while theorists suggest that axions, hypothetical subatomic particles, may have absorbed protons and reduced the amount of lithium created in the period just after the Big Bang.
8. Is There Anybody Out There?
In 1961, astrophysicist Frank Drake devised a highly controversial equation: By multiplying together a series of terms relating to the probability of extraterrestrial life (the rate of star formation in the universe, the fraction of stars with planets, the fraction of planets with conditions suitable for life, etc.) he surmised that the existence of intelligent life on other planets is extremely likely. One problem: Roswell conspiracy theorists notwithstanding, we haven’t heard from any aliens to date. Recent discoveries of distant planets that could theoretically harbor life, though, have raised hopes that we might detect extraterrestrials if we just keep looking.
9. How Will the Universe End? [Warning, Potential Spoiler Alert!]
We now believe the universe started with the Big Bang. But how will it end? Based on a number of factors, theorists conclude that the fate of the universe could take one of several wildly different forms. If the amount of dark energy is not enough to resist the compressing force of gravity, the entire universe could collapse into a singular point—a mirror image of the Big Bang, known as the Big Crunch. Recent findings, though, indicate a Big Crunch is less likely than a Big Chill, in which dark energy forces the universe into a slow, gradual expansion and all that remains are burned-out stars and dead planets, hovering at temperatures barely above absolute zero. If enough dark energy is present to overwhelm all other forces, a Big Rip scenario could occur, in which all galaxies, stars and even atoms are torn apart.
10. Across the Multiverse
Theoretical physicists speculate that our universe may not be the only one of its kind. The idea is that our universe exists within a bubble, and multiple alternative universes are contained within their own distinct bubbles. In these other universes, the physical constants—and even the laws of physics—may differ drastically. Despite the theory’s resemblance to science fiction, astronomers are now looking for physical evidence: Disc-shaped patterns in the cosmic background radiation left over from the Big Bang, which could indicate collisions with other universes.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3r1r8Bd2p1qbkzabo1_500.jpg)
Top Ten Mysteries of the Universe
What are those burning questions about the cosmos that still baffle astronomers today?
1. What Are Fermi Bubbles?
No, this is not a rare digestive disorder. The bubbles are massive, mysterious structures that emanate from the Milky Ways center and extend roughly 20,000 light-years above and below the galactic plane. The strange phenomenon, first discovered in 2010, is made up of super-high-energy gamma-ray and X-ray emissions, invisible to the naked eye. Scientists have hypothesized that the gamma rays might be shock waves from stars being consumed by the massive black hole at the center of the galaxy.
2. Rectangular Galaxy
“Look, up in the sky! It’s a…rectangle?” Earlier this year, astronomers spotted a celestial body, roughly 70 million light-years away, with an appearance that is unique in the visible universe: The galaxy LEDA 074886 is shaped more or less like a rectangle. While most galaxies are shaped like discs, three-dimensional ellipses or irregular blobs, this one seems to have a regular rectangle or diamond-shaped appearance. Some have speculated that the shape results from the collision of two spiral-shaped galaxies, but no one knows for now.
3. The Moon’s Magnetic Field
One of the moon’s greatest mysteries—why only some parts of the crust seem to have a magnetic field—has intrigued astronomers for decades, even inspiring the buried mythical “monolith” in the novel and film 2001: A Space Odyssey. But some scientists finally think they may have an explanation. After using a computer model to analyze the moon’s crust, researchers believe the magnetism may be a relic of a 120-mile-wide asteroid that collided with the moon’s southern pole about 4.5 billion years ago, scattering magnetic material. Others, though, believe the magnetic field may be related to other smaller, more recent impacts.
4. Why Do Pulsars Pulse?
Pulsars are distant, rapidly spinning neutron stars that emit a beam of electromagnetic radiation at regular intervals, like a rotating lighthouse beam sweeping over a shoreline. Although the first one was discovered in 1967, scientists have for decades struggled to understand what causes these stars to pulse—and, for that matter, what causes pulsars to occasionally stop pulsing. In 2008, though, when one pulsar suddenly shut off for 580 days, scientists’ observations allowed them to determine that the “on” and “off” periods are somehow related to magnetic currents slowing down the stars’ spin. Astronomers are still at work trying to understand why these magnetic currents fluctuate in the first place.
5. What Is Dark Matter?
Astrophysicists are currently trying to observe the effects of dark energy [link to Fast Forward], which accounts for some 70 percent of the universe. But it’s not the only dark stuff in the cosmos: roughly 25 percent of it is made up of an entirely separate material called dark matter. Completely invisible to telescopes and the human eye, it neither emits nor absorbs visible light (or any form of electromagnetic radiation), but its gravitational effect is evident in the motions of galaxy clusters and individual stars. Although dark matter has proven extremely difficult to study, many scientists speculate that it might be composed of subatomic particles that are fundamentally different from those that create the matter we see around us.
6. Galactic Recycling
In recent years, astronomers have noticed that galaxies form new stars at a rate that would seem to consume more matter than they actually have inside them. The Milky Way, for example, appears to turn about one sun’s worth of dust and gas into new stars every year, but it doesn’t have enough spare matter to keep this up long-term. A new study of distant galaxies might provide the answer: Astronomers noticed gas that had been expelled by the galaxies flowing back in to the center. If the galaxies recycle this gas to produce new stars, it might be a piece of the puzzle in solving the question of the missing raw matter.
7. Where Is All the Lithium?
Models of the Big Bang indicate that the element lithium should be abundant throughout the universe. The mystery, in this case, is pretty straightforward: it doesn’t. Observations of ancient stars, formed from material most similar to that produced by the Big Bang, reveal amounts of lithium two to three times lower than predicted by the theoretical models. New research indicates that some of this lithium may be mixed into the center of stars, out of view of our telescopes, while theorists suggest that axions, hypothetical subatomic particles, may have absorbed protons and reduced the amount of lithium created in the period just after the Big Bang.
8. Is There Anybody Out There?
In 1961, astrophysicist Frank Drake devised a highly controversial equation: By multiplying together a series of terms relating to the probability of extraterrestrial life (the rate of star formation in the universe, the fraction of stars with planets, the fraction of planets with conditions suitable for life, etc.) he surmised that the existence of intelligent life on other planets is extremely likely. One problem: Roswell conspiracy theorists notwithstanding, we haven’t heard from any aliens to date. Recent discoveries of distant planets that could theoretically harbor life, though, have raised hopes that we might detect extraterrestrials if we just keep looking.
9. How Will the Universe End? [Warning, Potential Spoiler Alert!]
We now believe the universe started with the Big Bang. But how will it end? Based on a number of factors, theorists conclude that the fate of the universe could take one of several wildly different forms. If the amount of dark energy is not enough to resist the compressing force of gravity, the entire universe could collapse into a singular point—a mirror image of the Big Bang, known as the Big Crunch. Recent findings, though, indicate a Big Crunch is less likely than a Big Chill, in which dark energy forces the universe into a slow, gradual expansion and all that remains are burned-out stars and dead planets, hovering at temperatures barely above absolute zero. If enough dark energy is present to overwhelm all other forces, a Big Rip scenario could occur, in which all galaxies, stars and even atoms are torn apart.
10. Across the Multiverse
Theoretical physicists speculate that our universe may not be the only one of its kind. The idea is that our universe exists within a bubble, and multiple alternative universes are contained within their own distinct bubbles. In these other universes, the physical constants—and even the laws of physics—may differ drastically. Despite the theory’s resemblance to science fiction, astronomers are now looking for physical evidence: Disc-shaped patterns in the cosmic background radiation left over from the Big Bang, which could indicate collisions with other universes.
(via vandynamite)
hmmmmmmh
I’ll answer these in a single read more post so i dont clog anyones dash!
Well why the fuck not. Hey, my three (or is it four) followers: Assume things!
(via vandynamite)
I know this is probably not the right response to this feel-good tumblr meme, but I’d fuck ‘em both.
I lol’d ^
(via amazingatheist)
